Yesterday I went back to my hometown to meet with my parent. Both of them very old and not well especially my father. He always had a minor stroke last few days and his memory getting worst. He can’t even remember how to go to toilet, how to eat and he can’t even recognize us their own children. Sometimes he can’t even recognize my mom who 24/7 by his side taking care of him.
Currently, both of them stay with my younger brother and my elder brother. Both of them working and only come back home at night. So the whole day my mom alone is taking care of my father.

Since he cannot remember most of the thing he starts to act like a baby. My mom needs to monitor him to make sure he did not fall and hurt himself. He can’t even walk properly. My sister bought him a wheel chair to help my mom bring him to toilet when he cannot walk.
Last 2 month before I deliver my baby he can’t even move. My mom needs to carry him every morning to give him a shower. To make it worst he demand to take shower 2 – 3 time everyday due to the hot weather now. My mom really suffers, but she still takes good care of him. She said it her sacrifice. What make me sad is my father said he don’t want to take care of my mom if she sick. I know he don’t even know what he said, but I still feel bad you know.
I am very close with my mom. I love her so much. I always ask her to come and stay with me so that I can take care of her. I can’t go back and stay with them. I have family here. I know my mom understands. She said that it feel more comfortable for her to stay in her own house. But I cannot help my self to feel sad every time I think of her.
This is my beautiful mom with her SIL.My mom wearing green baju kurung. She is so pretty rite.

She had gone thru a lot since she is a little girl. Life was hard back than .We are not from a fortunate family. We only have enough to eat and nothing more to spare. But she never complains. She gave all of us what we need. She thought us to accept what ever we had. Do not ask for more than what we have. I still remember when I was a teenagers, I also want to wear nice cloth. All my friend has jeans, nice t shirt and blouse. I ask my mom to get me all those thing. I still remember what she told me that time.’ Mak bukan orang senang.Kita tak banyak duit macam org lain.Kalau nak pakai elok-elok hang kena belajar rajin2.Nanti dah kerja bagus2, gaji banyak , beli la apa yang hang nak.Masa tu tak dak sapa nak larang”.And I never ask for more after that. I just study hard and make sure I can go to uni and get good job.
This is My parent during my Convo. Both so tired but still so excited to celebrate my convocation .This is also the big day for them. At this time my father still healthy. I really miss this moment, he cried, hug me and tell how proud he is.This is 6 years ago.

My mother breast fed me for 4 years. May be that’s why im so close and attached with her. She still take care of me same as what she did when I was a little girl. Still buy me cloth, cook my favorite food, hand feed me and pat me to sleep even until now when I come home and visit her. May be it is me who sometime forget her when im so busy with my daily work. She never miss to call me everyday. I will feel something missing if I did not get a cal from her. I’m so lucky that I still have my mom to share my life and meet with my babies. The best this is, my mom took care of me during my confinement for Najwa. She did everything for me that make me felt like a princess. She took care of me and my baby .for 44days with all her heart. She cook, clean my baby and she even stay up at night to take care of Najwa every time she cries. Oh! Mak, how I can thank you of all those thing you done for me.
I don’t know why, every time I think of my moms sacrifices and the hard thing she had gone thru, I’m so touch and feel like crying. I always have tears in the corner of my eyes every time I think of her. I feel like crying every time I look at her picture. It because I really want to be by her side at this time to took care of her, but I Cant. There are a lot of reasons. I think I’m not a good daughter. My mom always there for me all my life, but I always away when she needs me. This will be the biggest regret in my life.
Im proud of her and I want to be like her. I love you Mak.